The Less and the More

“You want Ellie to be your girlfriend?”

“Yeah. Course.”

“Not just your friend?”

“Well.” He inserted the pound coin into the slot and pressed the one-player button. “I was going to ask you about that. What would you say are the main differences?”

“You’re funny, Marcus.”

“I know. People keep telling me. I don’t care. I just want you to answer the question.”

“OK. Do you want to touch her? That’s got to be the first thing.”

Marcus carried on blasting away at the monster on the screen, apparently oblivious to Will’s profundities.

“Well?”

“I don’t know. I’m thinking about it. Go on.”

“That’s it.”

“That’s it? There’s only one difference?”

“Yeah. Marcus. You have heard of sex, haven’t you? It’s kind of a big deal.”

“I know, I’m not stupid. But I can’t believe there’s nothing more to it. Oh, piss.” Marcus had lost another life. “’Cos I’m not sure if I want to touch Ellie or not. But I still know that I want her to be my girlfriend.”

“OK, so what things do you want to be different?”

“I want to be with her more. I want to be with her all the time, instead of just when I bump into her. And I want to get rid of Zoe, even though I like Zoe, because I want Ellie all to myself. And I want to tell her things first, before I tell anyone, even you or Mum. And I don't want her to have another boyfriend. If I could have all those things, I wouldn't mind if I touched her or not.”

Will shook his head, a gesture that Marcus missed because his eyes were still glued to the video screen. “I tell you, Marcus, you’ll learn. You won’t feel like that forever.”

But later that night, when he was home on his own and listening to the sort of music he needed to listen to when he felt like this, music that seemed to find the sore part in him and press hard against it, he remembered the deal Marcus was prepared to strike. And yes, he wanted to touch Rachel (the fantasies that involved enormous hotel beds definitely involved touching as well), but right now, he thought, if he had the choice, he’d settle for the less and the more that Marcus wanted.

People are Strange When You're a Stranger

Whoo-hoo Halloween! We had our annual Costume Party here at Rochester tonight and it was so much fun. I've been looking forward to this night for several months now, slowly gathering the different elements of my costume and tonight it all came together. Me and several friends were characters from the Harry Potter universe, and it was amazing, it looked like we had stepped right off the screen and into Rochester Hills, MI. My friends, who are dating, went as Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks and I went as the never before seen Lavender Brown. It was sooooo much fun, they were so cute I wanted to die, and I loved my costume so much I want to wear it everyday, lol. But all in all it was a very good evening, I couldn't have asked for a better one. And now I'm looking forward to next year, the theme: Star Wars.

FBI# 1942004 GAT3B

The following is a true FBI story about the courage of one agent against three drug/crime lords. For security purposes, we will refer to the FBI agent as “Goldilocks” and the crime lords as “The 3 Bears: Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and Baby Bear.”

Goldilocks had been on the trail of the 3 Bears for many years but had been unable to catch them. In the course of her investigation, she received a tip from a fellow agent, Little Red Riding Hood, that they were living in the same woods as another criminal she was tracking and had just caught, The Wolf. The Wolf had given them the whereabouts of the 3 Bears as a part of a plea bargain.

So Goldilocks and her task force converged on the hideout of the 3 Bears, but it appeared that they were not at home. Giving her task force instructions to search the surrounding forest, Goldilocks proceeded to enter the dilapidated shack the 3 Bears called their home.

Inside she first came to the kitchen/dining area. Laid out on the table was what appeared to be breakfast. In a rash move, Goldilocks sampled the bowls of what seemed to be porridge; she was searching for evidence of cocaine. She sampled the first bowl, the one that belonged to Papa Bear. Not only could she find no traces of cocaine, the porridge was far too hot. The next bowl was Mama Bear’s; it too had no traces of cocaine, however, this bowl was far too cold. Goldilocks found this phenomenon intriguing. How could two bowls that presumably came from the same pot be two completely different temperatures? She moved onto the third and final bowl, that of Baby Bear’s, and this one was just right. The porridge was the perfect temperature and tasted wonderful. Before she even knew what she was doing, she ate the entire bowl!

Once she had eaten the porridge she proceeded to investigate the living room. After several minutes of investigation Goldilocks began to feel light-headed and needed to sit down. In the corner was Papa Bear’s armchair. Goldilocks sat down and nearly sank through to the floor. She managed to pry herself from Papa Bear’s chair and move to Mama Bear’s chair, but she found it too hard and uncomfortable. Her head was getting worse, and she desperately needed to sit down. Then she spotted Baby Bear’s chair. She rushed over to it, the room spinning, but as she sat down it broke, dumping her on the floor.

Goldilocks was becoming desperate. Her head was pounding, and she was suddenly exhausted. She stumbled into the bedroom. She threw herself onto Papa Bear’s bed, but it was too lumpy. She rolled over to the next bed, Mama Bear’s bed, but it was too hard. As her vision dimmed and she lost control of consciousness, she climbed into Baby Bear’s bed, and it was just right.

When she woke up, she was in a hospital room. It turned out there had been a heavy tranquilizer in the porridge, designed to make the person consuming it want more. Her task force had come in just in time. The 3 Bears had been hiding in the ramshackle house, waiting for the drug to run its course. They were taken into FBI custody, and Goldilocks was rushed to the hospital.

The 3 Bears were tried, convicted, and sent to prison. The Wolf reached a plea bargain with the prosecution and is now serving 10-15 years for drug trafficking. Catching the 3 Bears was the defining moment of Goldilocks’ career. She is currently an Assistant Director of the FBI. She and Little Red Riding Hood are still friends to this day.